Somewhere along the way, we were taught that loving ourselves was selfish. But what if, in God’s eyes, it’s not just allowed—it’s required? In her powerful and strongly personal book I Love Me, author Patricia Lloyd reveals a truth that many people struggle to accept: self-love is not a sign of pride or ego. It’s an act of obedience. For too long, we’ve been told to put everyone else first, to give until we’re empty, to be the last ones in line when it comes to grace. But Patricia’s journey teaches that loving others starts with learning to love yourself—and that God expects and commands us to do exactly that. This realization didn’t come to Patricia all at once. It came through a dream—an unforgettable vision of being a bride, unprepared on her wedding day. Surrounded by beauty, celebration, and expectation, she wasn’t dressed for the moment she had longed for. When the garment bag was opened, it didn’t hold a dress. It held rags. What should have been a moment of joy was filled with panic, regret, and shame.

In that dream, Patricia saw the truth of her own life. She had poured herself into helping others, showing up for everyone else’s needs, while ignoring the condition of her own soul. She had confused busyness with preparation, distraction with purpose. She was good at giving, but not at receiving. She was kind to others, but not to herself. And like so many people—especially women—she thought that was noble. But it wasn’t. It was disobedience. God never called us to neglect ourselves in the name of service. He never asked us to deny our own healing while trying to mend others. Patricia realized that her lack of self-love wasn’t humility. It was a form of unbelief. She wasn’t believing the truth about who she was in Christ. She wasn’t embracing the fullness of His grace. And she wasn’t preparing herself to be the bride He had called her to be.

Throughout I Love Me, Patricia gently dismantles the lie that loving yourself is wrong. In fact, she shows that loving yourself is biblical. The command to “love your neighbor as yourself” appears again and again in Scripture. And yet many of us skip over that second part—“as yourself”—as if it doesn’t matter. But it does. Because the way we treat ourselves becomes the blueprint for how we treat others. When we neglect our own needs, we begin to lose empathy. When we judge ourselves harshly, we start judging others the same way. When we carry unhealed wounds, we end up projecting pain instead of offering compassion. Real love—God’s love—starts on the inside and flows outward. And we cannot give what we do not possess. That’s why Patricia urges readers to develop something often overlooked in the church: self-compassion. It’s not about feeling sorry for yourself. It’s about learning to recognize your own emotions, acknowledge your mistakes without shame, and extend the same grace to yourself that you freely offer to others.

In one chapter, she shows a conversation with a friend who had taken empathy classes. That single word—empathy—sparked something in Patricia. She began to understand how a lack of empathy, especially toward ourselves, leads to so much of the cruelty and coldness in the world. When people don’t know how to be gentle with their own hearts, they can’t be gentle with others. And when they don’t believe they’re worthy of love, they struggle to accept the love of God. Loving yourself also means letting go of guilt. Patricia writes about how long she delayed completing her book, even though she knew God had told her to write it. She called it what it was: delayed obedience. And in doing so, she reminded readers that ignoring your purpose is not humility—it’s disobedience.

God gave you gifts for a reason. He placed purpose inside you not just to help others, but to bring joy to your life. Holding back your light doesn’t serve the world—it dims the room. Patricia’s story is a testimony of what happens when you finally give yourself permission to shine. Of course, self-love isn’t just about affirmations and positive thinking. In I Love Me, Patricia anchors everything in Scripture, prayer, and intimacy with God. She talks about building a sanctuary—a sacred space where you meet with God, listen to His voice, and allow Him to speak truth over your life. That secret place becomes the foundation for everything else. It’s where healing begins, where strength is renewed, and where identity is restored.

In that sacred space, you don’t have to perform. You don’t have to fix yourself first. You just show up. And in showing up, you begin to see yourself the way God sees you: chosen, forgiven, treasured, and worth loving. Patricia shares how that daily renewal changed her from the inside out. She stopped believing the lies that she wasn’t good enough. She stopped apologizing for taking up space. She stopped settling for shame. She started living like someone who had been redeemed. The truth is, we live in a world that profits off our self-doubt. It tells us we need to be better, do more, look perfect, and stay quiet. But God’s message is radically different. He says, “You are loved. You are worthy. And I have called you by name.” Patricia Lloyd believes that message. And through her book, she’s helping others believe it too.